Day 5: Are We Ready? - by Derrick

I'm back to work on Monday, with my pinky splinted. I will type some interesting emails today with remarkable typos.

We know our decision to carry the baby as long as possible will not be popular one with everyone.  We think we are prepared to explain ourselves to others, though the hardest will be those who are closest with us who may adamantly and vocally disagree.

We are trying to mentally prepare for tomorrow's doctor visit. They already scheduled us with a genetic counselor, which is probably not a good thing. I have no clue what genetic counselors do, I envision they help you deal with bad news after the doctor's visit and go through your options including termination.

We imagine the doctor giving us a clearer diagnosis and using some phrase like "your fetus will not survive outside the womb". The doctor will tell us how long she thinks we can carry her for, hopefully it is close to term which is the end of February.  The doctor would discuss and encourage termination options, we would say no, and then ask her what the next 4-5 months would look like. The genetic counselor might then hand us some pamphlets and information on chromosomal abnormalities and support groups.

When this becomes "official", I am not sure how we will handle it. Will it change any of our thoughts and feelings? Will it make us sulk further into sadness, or just reaffirm what we have been preparing for these past few days? We trust that God has prepared us and will sustain us for whatever may come.

Who knows, maybe this past week we have been like the people who pessimistically diagnosis themselves on the Internet and drive doctors crazy.

Maybe we will be told our baby will be born alive.

"Whom have I in heaven but you?

    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
- Psalm 73:25-26