Where Is Our Baby?

So many firsts in this new life without Odelia.

By the way, it is pronounced "oh-DELL-ee-uh".

This morning was my first time back at Costco. Nothing remarkable about that, except for the variety of people available to shop on a weekmorning!

When we passed by the infant girl clothing tables, both ZJ stated that those were clothes for Mui Mui. How do they know? I reminded them that Mui Mui was not healthy and died, and that we will not see her again until Heaven. All while a mother next to us readjusted her baby in the pram. Sigh. So many reminders.

Later, we caught sight of a father playing with his infant son. Holding hands, ZJ earnestly inquired, the first time with sadness:

          "Mommy, where is our baby??
          "Where is our baby Odelia? Where did she go?"
          "Is she still in your tummy?"
          "Why can't we play with her, like that Baba?"
          "When can God give us another baby?"
          "Where is our baby?"

I felt sad that they were still confused, had lost a sister they so loved, and were beginning to understand that our situation was not normative.

We are coming up on 1 month this Saturday. I wonder when the boys will stop talking about Mui Mui, drawing her in our family, making things for Baby Odelia, praying for her, and gifting flowers for me and her.